Lost and Confused
by Nevaehhasit
Summary: Bella's mom is hiding something. Things start to unravel when Bella announces she wants to go back to her roots to learn more about her deceased father and attend college. Why and what is her mother hiding? Please R&R. Rated T... It may change later in the story.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Stephenie Meyers.**

**This is my first fanfic. I don't mind constructive criticism, but if you can't say anything nice. Please don't say anything at all. I understand I have to get better in writing and the only way for that to happen is to continue writing. So please do not flame my story and if you don't like my story please keep it to your self, I understand not everyone will. Thank you for reading. :) **

**Chapter 1, **

Hurt~

I always felt as if I was missing something in my life. Maybe it's the fact that I lost my dad when I was three.

My mother said she couldn't deal with all the memories of him in the house and didn't want to burden me with it either.

She packed up our clothes, along with a few of my toys, and left everything else.

Mom told me she got bus tickets the moment she got the news of my fathers passing, She moved us to Chicago right after his funeral.

It's funny I don't remember _anything_ before we moved here. It seemed to me like waking up and being in a new place. That is literally how I felt.

She never let me out of her sight. Claiming there are bad people in the world who would take me from her.

My mother has always been a worrier. If we left the house she would double check the locks on the house.

When I was younger, I always had to hold her hand any where we went. She wasn't gonna let me out of her sight.

She told me it was bad to talk to strangers. To some my mom probably looked like a crazy person, but to me it was her way of keeping me safe.

My mother is a very beautiful person. She has blonde hair and vivid blue eyes and dark complected. I wished I looked like her.

I was blessed with my dad's features. I have Dark brown hair and eyes. I am also very light complected. She says everything on me is my dad made over.

I wouldn't know. I have nothing to compare it to. I have never seen a picture of him, so I could never question it. All I have really ever known was his name, and he was chief of police in Forks.

Once I was old enough, my mother got me on a home school computer course program. I wished I had some of the opportunities to do what other kids in school are allowed, such as sports or to socialize with kids my age. I never went to school.

I should probably explain that my mother was a third grade teacher, before I was born. She thought she could teach me better herself.

That way we could be together everyday. She didn't like it, anytime I was away from her. I guess she was afraid that something might happen to me, like it did with my dad.

It's that very reason alone, I feel hesitant to tell my mom that I plan to attend college in Seattle.

I think about it all the time. All the new things I could learn in school and about myself.

I want to go early, spend some time this summer in Forks and see what I can learn about my dad and maybe his family, if he has any.

I decided to take my mom on a nice relaxing pick-nick today and break the news to her. I figure if she is nice and relaxed, enjoying the day. It might make it a little easier.

Once we are settled and have everything out and start eating I go in for the kill.

"Mom?"

She looks up smiling. "Yeah?"

"We need to talk." I tell her.

Her body tensed and she looked at me in concern. "Sounds serious."

"We'll it is, but it's not bad... at least I don't think it's bad, I think it's great!" I rush out in a hurry.

She relaxes. "I'm sure it is. What's going on?" She asks smiling at me once again.

"Well, you know how I've been looking into a few different colleges and most of them are close. I have been looking into one a little further away." She stop smiling.

Her face instantly morphed into worry, her brow furrowed and I could see the distress on her face.

"Don't freak out, but I really wanna go to U-dub in the fall, maybe spend the summer in Forks. I want to get to know who my dad was." I tell her.

Her normally calm and pleasant demeanor slowly changed and her face contorted in an all consuming anger, her nostrils flaring, her eyes flashing and closing.

"What do you mean you want to attend u-dub in the fall? Absolutely not! You know enough about your dad. I forbid it!"

Okay... that went well. I think to myself sarcastically. Why is she acting like this? I knew she would be upset, but not irate.

"I don't know what to say. I thought your mind was made up and you were going some place close?"

"I never said for sure what I was going to do, you assumed." I explain.

"Yeah, well I guess that's what I get for assuming. Right?"

"Look I don't want to make you mad, but I know there are things you haven't told me..." I explain. She interrupts me shaking her head.

"I have told you everything that you want to know..." I interrupt her as well.

"No you have been vague when it comes to my father." I say feeling upset and lost. "I want to know who I am. The only way to do that is to know who he was."

"Keep playing with fire and you'll get burned..." She says so quietly. I almost didn't hear it. "Do what you want, just know that when you find what your looking for I won't be around."

"What does that mean?" I ask confused.

"Exactly what it sounds like?

"I don't understand any of this right now? Are you telling me that if I pursue looking for my father you're... What... not gonna have anything to do with me anymore?" I ask, feeling the shock and hurt she must have felt when I told her my decision.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." She nods.

"Fine, I guess I know what I have to do. I'll find out what your not telling me." I say to her. Calling her bluff.

"Alright then." She shrugs. "I have nothing more to say, just know I will drop out of your life. There will be no contact what so ever. I am done!" She gets up and walks away.

Figuring I should let her go and blow off some steam I walk off to the car. Why is she being like this? I have never seen her like this in my life.

Was my dad a bad guy?

Maybe she doesn't want to trudge everything up, afraid I might get hurt.

Realization hits me.

What is she trying to protect me from.

Why then, would she not have anything to do with me once I make my choice? I ponder that thought as I close my eyes feeling the tears fall. It feels, as though my life is falling apart.

**Please let me know what you think. I would really appreciate it. Thanks again for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Once again, this is my first fanfic. I don't mind constructive criticism, but if you can't say anything nice. Please don't say anything at all. I understand I have to get better in writing and the only way for that to happen is to continue writing. So please do not flame my story and if you don't like my story please keep it to your self, I understand not everyone will. Thank you for reading. :) **

**Chapter 2, **Packing

Here I am packing my stuff up and hearing my mother grumble to her self somewhere in the house.

Yes, I have decided to go with my heart and find what I am looking for. I just hope it turns out the way I want it to, with my mom still in my life.

It's been three days since our pick-nick outing. She won't say a word to me, just grumbles. She stops the moment I come in contact with her.

I have been collecting boxes to pack all of my stuff for the past 2 days. I already have my books and all of my clothes packed.

She told me if I was serious, I would need to take all of my stuff.

This is her way of trying to keep me here. I mean she _is_ my mother. She wont turn her back on me. I don't care what she says, but I have to do this.

"What is she thinking? She needs to be here with me. I can't believe she would do this to me." I hear her mumbling from the dining room."You knew this could happen when it all started. I told you this would never work. Your so stupid."

I hear what sounds like my mother talking to her self.

Then I hear keys jingle and the front door slam.

I walk out of my room looking all through the house calling for her.

"Mom?" I wait to hear her. when she doesn't answer I call out again.

"Mom." She probably went to the store or something. I shrug, not thinking much more about it.

Since I plan to leave early the tomorrow morning. I get a few things loaded up in my car.

Feeling hungry, I go into the kitchen to fix something for lunch. After eating a sandwich, I finish the rest of the day packing boxes into the car.

When dinner rolls around I start to worry. I grab my cell and call my mother.

"Hello?"

"Mom, where are you?" I ask hoping she is about to walk in the door.

"I'm staying with a friend tonight."

Huh? What friend?

"Why? I'm leaving in the morning. I figured we could have a nice dinner tonight before I leave."

"Bella I can't sit and watch you just walk out of my life, so don't ask me to."

Feeling the sadness of not seeing my mother kills me. "I'm not walking out of your life. You are choosing to not be in mine! I can't believe you are being this selfish. Tell me what my father did to you? I ask her.

"Selfish?" She laughs. "Tell me, how am I selfish? It's you who is leaving.

"What is so wrong for me to find out who my dad was? I just need you to support me on this!" I exclaim.

Silence.

"Mom...?"

Hearing the unmistakable dial tone, alerting me to the fact that my mother just hung up on me.

Am I making the right decision? I feel my heart break at the thought of my mother never speaking to me again.

Why is this such a big deal?

I call her cell again and it goes directly to her voice mail. I hang up.

It's like my mother is someone else. I don't recognize the person I have been living with for the past few days.

She is almost... cold? I think to myself.

I go to bed crying myself to sleep.

I hear my alarm blare at 5 am. I get up and stretch feeling the muscles in my neck and back.

I go out to the hall and open my mothers door hoping she will be there, feeling the disappointment when I see her bed empty. I trudge my way to the bathroom to take a shower.

Once I'm done with that, I go to grab some breakfast from the kitchen. I start the coffee and start some eggs. I toss some bread in the toaster.

When my eggs are done, I put them on my plate and I grab a mug from the cabinet and pour me some coffee. When the toaster pops I set everything on the table.

I see something with my name on it sitting on the other side of the table.

This wasn't here last night. Did mom come in?

**Here is a check that should take care of you until you get on your feet. **

**I love you, mom.**

Is that it?

I don't realize I'm crying until I feel the tears fall.

I look at the paper to see it is in fact a check for twenty grand. Where in the world would she have gotten that kind of money?

I put it in my pocket. I grab a pen and paper and start my letter to her.

**Mom, I don't understand anything that is going on with you. Just know, I love you and I will call you, to let you know I am safe.**

**All my love Bella.**

I grab my coffee and my keys checking to make sure everything is packed in my car. I take one good look around memorizing it all This is the only home I have ever known. I am now about to embark on a new journey of my life.

After locking the door, I check the knob making sure it is securely locked. I climb into my car and start it. I pull my seat belt on and take one last look, before I head off down my street and onto the open road.

**Reviews = faster updates... Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3,

**Hi again! Here is the next chapter I hope you all like it! Please do not flame my story. I understand not everyone will like my story, but please be respectful. Thank you for reading. :) **

**Chapter 3, **Luck

After a two day road trip, I finally make it here to Seattle. I find a little B&B

I have to remind myself that for the next few days I will need to get a job, and find housing somewhere.

Stepping through the front doors into a little lounge with another set of double doors.

Leading to a reception desk. I could smell the scent of floral as soon as I walked in.

Off to the left side were 3 leather chairs sitting around a small table in the middle of the floor.

I saw a 25'' flat screen TV that hung off the wall, with the news playing.

A girl's honey-sweet voice came from behind the desk.

"Hi, welcome to 11th Avenue Inn Bed and Breakfast, how can I help you today?"

She wore a simple white dress with a gold braided belt.

Her black hair was in a short pixie cut.

The girl's face was milky white, with large dazzling blue eyes.

"I would like a room please." I tell her.

"Sure would you like a single or a double?"

"A single is fine." I inform her.

"Okay, is this for one night?"

"For the week please, until I can figure something else out."

"Not a problem, your check out will be on Sunday by noon. If you need any more time please inform us before then." She smiles at me as I turn to leave.

I turn to ask another question.

"Excuse me, do you know of any places hiring in the area at the moment?" I ask,

She smiles at me. "Sure, actually we're hiring here. Do you have any computer skills? We have an opening for another clerk, if your interested?"

"Really? That would be great! I have used a computer, I am sure I can learn what ever you need me to do."

The girl holds out her hand. "My name is Alice Cullen."

"My name is Isabella Swan, but please call me Bella. I tell her while shaking her hand.

"Do you want the job? You would be a life savor." She says, smiling eagerly at me.

I nod "Please, I wasn't sure how long it would take me to find a job. I figured I would be here weeks before finding anything. I can't believe my luck this is awesome!" I take a deep breath realizing in my excitement I am rambling.

Alice giggles.

"You say that now, wait till you get an unsatisfied costumer. Those are horrible." We both laugh together.

"I'm sure it will be fine."

"Well then, I think I'll let you get settled in. Here is your room key and if you need anything else don't hesitate to ask. We can talk more tomorrow about the job, my parents are in town to check on things here. They own the bed and breakfast. I just run it through the summer. They will want to meet you I'm sure."

I nod, as we say our goodbyes and head off to find my room. I unlock my door and set my luggage down.

I set my lap top up on a desk next to my bed and grab my phone from my purse putting it on the charger.

I try calling my mom again. Feeling the hurt when she doesn't answer. Deciding to take a shower, I grab some shorts and tank top from my bag.

I stand under the spray of water feeling the sadness consume me.

Why is she acting this way?

What could possibly have happened that my mother would turn her back on me?

I let the smells of my body wash and shampoo relax me.

I turn the shower off and quickly dress. I get into bed and grab my lap top, logging into my email.

I see an email from my mom.

_82692-336854_

_When you figure it out I will be gone. I knew this day would come at some point. I hope you have a good life, but I wont be in it..._

Not a I love you, mom... or anything just nothing.

What in the world? Baffled, I turn off my computer and turn out the lights.

This is just a messed up situation, but something keeps pulling me to look more into my dad. I can't put my finger on it, but there is something I am missing...

What is she hiding? How can someone turn on their kid? I know one thing I will get money up with this job and before school starts I will make my way to forks just to get some answers...

**I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think. I will update again soon! Please read and review & have a good day :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to all of you who have decided to follow/favorite my story! I hope you like this next chapter. I wanted to get this out, because I will be busy next week. I hope to get one more up before then, but if not it will be about 2 weeks before I can get another chapter out. Unless things slow down for me, I will try my best. Hope you like it. On with the story!**

**Chapter 4, **Parents

I turn over on my bed and see a gleam of light shining through the curtain.

I grabb some clothes and a brush, and head to the shower.

I allow the spray of the water to relax my tight muscles. I wash my body and grab my shampoo. I love that cherry smell I get when I use it. I rinse my hair and grab my towel.

I dry off and dress quickly. I grab the phone in the room and call the front desk.

"Thank you for calling Ms. Swan how can I help you?" I hear a young girl who does not sound like Alice.

"Umm.. I'm sorry I thought Alice was working today. Sorry to bother you." I start to remove the device from my ear, the girl rushes out quickly. "No, wait! She is speaking with her parents. I'll get her, one moment please."

I heard a beep in the phone, then nothing. Before I could contemplate the thought that she hung up on me. I heard the phone click over.

"Bella, How can I help you?"

"Alice, sorry to bother you. I just needed to know you were here, and if I should meet you downstairs?

"That would be great. I will bring my parents to the lobby to meet you."

"I will be there shortly." Hanging up, I go to the bathroom and brush all the tangles out of my hair and quickly brush my teeth.

I walk around to the other side of my bed and grab my purse and key for the room, locking it as I walk out the door.

I walk in the lobby and see Alice standing with a petite lady to her left with light brown hair. A man to her right, The man was tall with broad shoulders and short blonde hair.

Alice sees me as I walk in and smiles, waving me over.

"Hello Bella, how did you sleep?"

"I've slept better." She frowns at me and I realize how that sounded.

"Oh no, that had nothing to do with the B&B. I just had some things on my mind is all."

She exhales and frowns some more, I shake my head not wanting to go into it and she nods.

"Mom, Dad, this is my very good friend Bella. She came into town last night and was needing a job, so I hired her. I think she will be awesome here!" I smile at Alice, thanking her for her kind words.

"Bella it's very nice to meet you. Our Alice has been talking about you all morning."

Thank you Mrs Cullen, it is nice to meet you also, you as well Mr Cullen. I nod and hold out my hand to shake both of theirs.

"Please call me Esme, and this is Carlisle. We will be called as such. I hate formality among friends. She says shaking her head.

"Bella join us? We are taking Alice out to lunch and we would love to have you also. It will give us time to get to know you, before you start working for us." Carlisle tells me.

I look over at Alice. She nods her head for me to agree.

"As long as I am not taking up anytime for you three to visit, I would love to join you."

"Great! It's all settled. We will meet you back here in twenty minutes that should give you enough time to get ready." I look down at myself not sure how much more ready I can get.

"Mom, I will meet back up with you guys. I need to speak with Bella, before we leave."

Thinking she changed her mind and doesn't want me to join them. I start to feel a little disappointed.

She grabs my hand and pulls me to my room.

"Sorry, but if I know my parents. Which I do. They are taking us some place with a dress code." she laughs.

We make it to my room and she starts tossing clothes everywhere.

"This will do. We are eating at the Metropolitan Grill!" She says. Like I know what that is. She hands me one of my dresses. It's a grey material with black roses printed on it. It was the only dress I had that could work for this occasion.

My mother had to go out to dinner one night a year ago. Of course, her not allowing me to be home on my own, even for just a few hours made me go with her.

Knowing we were going to some very expensive restaurant. She bought me the nicest dress she could afford.

I lay the dress on my bed. Grabbing my black zip up heels from my suitcase I turn to ask Alice if they would be appropriate. She agrees and turns to leave, telling me to change and meet her downstairs.

I quickly do as I'm told. After I dress I quickly run my brush through my hair and check the mirror. I grab some lip gloss and pinch my cheeks to add some color.

Once I deem myself presentable. I make my way to the lobby. I find Alice and her parents at the front desk.

We are seated at a huge table with three extra seats. Is someone joining us?

Alice must have seen the confusion on my face.

"My two brothers along with my sister-in-law are meeting us here for lunch."

"Oh okay." I smile at her.

"Bella go ahead and order something to drink and once everyone is here we will order lunch." Esme informs me.

I nod and order an ice water with two lemon wedges in it.

We sit there for another ten minutes when a tall blonde walks in and sits down.

"Rose, where are the boys?" Carlisle asks.

"They're parking the car, I told Emmett I wanted dropped off at the door." She explains.

A few seconds later a big muscular guy walks in and kisses, who I know now to be Rose, on the cheek before taking the seat next to her.

Another, not as big as Emmett, but still big muscular guy walks in behind him and walks over to kiss Esme's cheek.

This could quite possibly be the hottest guy I have ever seen! With the copper top hair and astonishing green eyes,e it's hard not to stare at him. Shit, he takes the seat right by me.

I sit quietly not knowing what to say, thankfully Alice breaks the tension I feel.

Emmett, Rose, Edward? This is my friend Bella she is going to start working at the B&B with me." She turns to me. "Bella these two lug heads are my brothers Emmett" she indicates to the big guy. "And Edward, she says pointing beside me. This is Rosalie my sister-in-law." She indicates to the blonde.

I smile at them. Emmett just grins at me. Edward smiles and nods at me. Rosalie just looks blankly at me. I can't seem to get a read on her.

We quickly order our lunch and sit around to talk.

Esme looks at me. "Bella where are you from sweetie?"

"I am from all over really, but I just moved her from Chicago." I tell her.

"What made you move all the way here?" That question came from Carlisle.

"I want to go to college at The University of Washington and I want to find out more about my dad while I'm here."

"Oh your dad is from Seattle?" Esme asks.

"No he is from a small town north east of here called Forks."

"Maybe we know him we used to live in Port Angeles a few years back it's not far from Forks." Emmett said.

"Well I doubt that, he died when I was three. I don't remember much about him. My mother packed us up right after and moved us to Chicago."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Esme says, sympathetically.

I thank her, trying to derail the topic of my dad, I ask her more about the B&B. She lights up. You can tell this is her baby, she could talk about it all day.

**Thank you for reading my story. **


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